Ah, the Kathmandu Valley – a chaotic dustbowl of mysticism and exhaust fumes. And here I am, escaping it all, arriving at my hillside guesthouse. It’s perched quietly above the noise, nestled in the trees, where incense drifts between prayer flags to the sound of birdsong and distant chanting. It’s everything I’ve been craving.
There’s only one thing that could possibly ruin this perfect little haven – and I’ve got my fingers crossed he isn’t here.
I unpack, settle into the guesthouse café, order a chai, and watch dragonflies flit and dive. The stillness is complete.
And then I hear a voice.
Oh no. It’s him.
The most irritating man in the entire world.
He’s here.
My heart sinks.
This beautiful, peaceful apple of a retreat now has a worm in it.
A worm named Ron.
Ron sees me, his face lights up, and he makes a beeline for my table. He’s thrilled to have someone to talk to. He plonks himself down without hesitation and immediately starts an argument. You know the type – say it’s black, he’ll give you ten reasons why it’s white.
Everything about Ron gets under my skin. The way he shuffles when he walks. Mumbles when he talks. The unrequested opinions, the pedantic observations, the compulsive need to nitpick. Within minutes, he’s pressed every button I’ve got – and found a few more I didn’t even know I had.
What could have been a peaceful retreat has now become something to endure.
Avoidance.
My gentle hints (“I’m here for some solitude”) fall on deaf ears. I don’t want to be rude, so, I resort to strategy.
And so it begins – the silent game of cat and mouse. I learn his routine and time my appearances in the communal areas to avoid him entirely.
But even that annoys me.
Sure, I don’t see him, but he’s still ruining my stay.
It’s time to apply some spiritual warriorship to the situation.
Enemy as Teacher.
In Buddhism, there’s the concept of enemy as teacher. The idea is simple: the people who irritate us most often function as unwelcome mirrors. They show us the parts of ourselves we’d rather not see – our reactivity, our ego, our unexamined habits.
Jung had a version of this too – the shadow. What annoys us in others often points to what we haven’t faced in ourselves.
Dammit, Ron. I came here to relax, not to self-confront. But now I’ve got to take a long, hard look at myself – all because you’re so damn irritating.
Analytical Meditation
So I sit with it.
What exactly is Ron triggering in me?
Maybe his intrusiveness reflects my discomfort with setting boundaries.
Maybe his constant complaining echoes my own inner critic – the one that’s never quite satisfied.
Maybe his argumentative nature points to my own need to avoid conflict – or my aversion to being challenged.
This moment of introspection makes me realise something: it’s not just him. It’s also me.
Who is your Ron?
Do you have a friend, coworker, or family member who presses all your buttons and gets under your skin?
In shamanic traditions, people like this are seen as golden spotlights – they reveal the places in ourselves that we still need to work on. Yes, some people are just plain difficult. That’s not in question. But here’s the thing: you can’t control that. What you can control is whether they ruin your day. It’s about getting free.
So next time someone triggers you, try this: pause. Ask, what is this showing me about myself? The answer might surprise you. And you might be one step closer to peace.
Because if you can find peace with your Ron, the rest of the world gets a whole lot easier.
And yes – sometimes it’s also perfectly fine to just avoid people who trigger you.
Spiritual awareness doesn’t mean signing up for constant irritation.
As luck would have it, there’s a retreat coming up at the nearby monastery – a perfect escape for further introspection and solitude. And if I can resist the urge to strangle Ron in the meantime, maybe I’ll rack up some good karma too.
Thanks for reading!
Jay
Huge thanks to Stephen Cyrus Sepher for inviting me to chat with him on his podcast The Immigrant Storyteller.
Click the video below for a clip – full podcast in the YouTube description.
Was I a “Ron” back in the day then JG 🤣
We sure had our fair share of discussions, chats, conversations and stuff. In other news, my Dad’s name was Ron - but he has nothing like the Ron you describe. Old friend, may you find the peace, serenity and quietness you seek. And don’t be tempted to do Ron one in the meantime ☮️ ✌🏻
Thanks 🙏 a very timely blog post for me, 🚗 road trip with family 🌸 😊